Why men have affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from millennium. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, money, age difference, religious education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet wives dating.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your relatives or anyone else? You would need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest cluster, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your money are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a large humber of reasons. As a man I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is not here, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair